The first time I heard that phrase I froze. OMG, it is. The acknowledgement kind of makes 2020 a bigger year. And you think about the significance more when you’re adulting up a storm, trying to live life to the fullest while also doing a hundred things a day. There it is – 2020 – new year and new decade – what are you going to do with it?
To resolution? Sure. I’m not afraid of that word. However, the framework I’ve chosen this year is a “focus.” I think of this approach as more fluid than a set of rules. Allowing for that structure and adaptability I love so much. It’s about looking at my lifestyle periodically and asking questions.
My focus for 2020 is to “worry less.” That would be amazing to secure for all 10 years, in fact. Easier said than done… For a perfectionist / millennial / type A / achiever / helper. Yet, all the more needed with these personality traits and orientations.
I am also a person with stress and anxiety. This is the chronic American plight now. But not being alone doesn’t make dealing any simpler. By definition… Stress is a response to a current threat. Anxiety is a worry about a future threat.
Stress, therefore, is a little more understandable. It is acute and very present. For me, anxiety is more abstract. It’s more “me” than circumstance. It’s blowing a lot of things out of proportion. Often, I would say it is strongly unnecessary and wreaks havoc on my body, mind and spirit for no reason.
My attempt to manage this anxiety and worry less is a minor but worthwhile process toward health. I’ve decided to start by checking in with myself…
- Identify >> What am I worried about?
- Prioritize >> Do I need to worry about that?
- Acceptance >> What is the worst case scenario?
- Plan >> Which aspects of the outcome can I control?
- Action >> What is the solution to worry less – say no, reschedule, move on?
Through this lens, I can keep my worry-o-meter in check. I can deem a worry warranted and real. Or I can deem it silly, misdirected and superfluous. Surveying, I can bring the subconscious into the conscious, actively choosing what to be concerned about and what not to be concerned about.
This is important. As I am aging – dominating more in life but also having higher expectations to live up to – I find worry is par for the course. Less worry though, equals a better wife, sister, daughter, business owner, wellness coach and just plain human.
It also equals a better mom. I’m having my first baby in May, so there’s that! While being pregnant and growing a new child is miraculous and sweet, it can also be its own special worry fest.
Nice timing then – for general enlightenment and becoming a parent – to tackle this obvious barrier to peace and joy. One more way to enhance Aarika. And, after optimizing, I can also stay mindful of a very positive reality…
- Always recognizing what really matters.
- Doing my best every day with the information, energy and time that I have.
- Not fretting over the outcomes or other people’s measures of success.
We’re a month into 2020. How am I doing? Have I worried less? Some. I think. I have a ways to go still.
The beauty in the method is that I can ask myself that first question at any point – daily, weekly, monthly. Are you worried? Then I can analyze and adjust accordingly. Small, routine maintenance – versus a huge overhaul.
I don’t have to fail and rationalize waiting until next year (or next decade!) to get it right. I get to try again any time I want. And that’s control. And that’s freedom.